Death of Bohemia
by jessebelle
Summary: Oneshot. It's Marks birthday and he reflects on his life and friendships. A tad bit depressing. Takes place 6 months after RENT.


Death of Bohemia

By jessebelle

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, that honor belongs to the wonderful, brilliant, talented, and amazing Mr. Jonathon Larson. May he be getting a few kicks out of our playing with his creation. (I can just picture him on a cloud somewhere with a laptop rolling his eyes at all of us fanfic writers)

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Mark's POV

June 23 11:45 PM Eastern Standard Time

Another year has gone by; as of today I'm 26, and like the past six months, I'm alone. After Mimi's 'resurrection' on Christmas Eve, things began to pick up for my friends. Maureen and Joanne worked out their problems, for the most part. They still fight, but it's never serious. I'm assuming it's for the makeup sex. Collins got a job in Boston as a professor. He left after New Years. Roger convinced Mimi to give up drugs, and she was clean last I heard. Roger, well Roger finally left the loft. It didn't happen at once…he left gradually. After Christmas he began spending more and more time down in Mimi's apartment. Slowly his stuff disappeared, little by little, until one day in March it was all gone. I barely see him nowadays, only when he needs to get away. I hear him though, he and Mimi; the floors are thin.

I don't know when I started becoming jealous of Mimi, but I missed my best friend, probably more then I should. Hell, I miss all my friends. They didn't just stop coming around. Maureen and Joanne made an effort and Collins was there, calling, but as their lives picked up, I found myself alone, with my camera. Maureen and Joanne's visits became les and less frequent, as did their phone calls. The last I'd heard from them was a month ago when they'd gotten into a fight and needed a referee. Collins was busy with finals. Being a college professor was tough work, so I understand his being busy. But Roger…

I guess I should've accepted the happiness wouldn't last. He'd become the old Roger, the one before the drugs, before April, before HIV. My best friend was finally back. The man I knew before New Your, before my camera even, was back. But he wasn't with me, he wasn't here, and so I'm jealous. Because he's 'good Roger' again… and he doesn't need me.

I don't need to be there to help him through withdrawal. I don't need to be there to keep him off drugs. I don't need to be there to help spark his creativity when he gets stuck on a song. I don't need to be there to listen when he finally opens up. I don't need to be there to feed him, remind him about his AZT, to take care of him. He doesn't need me…and I'm lost.

It's my birthday and I've finally accepted I'm alone. I've detached myself so far from everyone's lives that I'm just a casual observer, hiding behind my camera. Roger's and my own words from Halloween haunt me, even now. Roger never apologized, which I didn't him to, but…it makes his words more real, more true.

The truth is that the only friend I see on a regular basis is Angel, and she's not even alive. It's become a tradition. When I dog to film and my creativity is gone, I go see Angel. It sounds crazy but I know she's there. Sometimes I even hear her voice in my head. She tells me to go to Roger, help him with Mimi, but I tried that in the early days, back in January. I felt like an outsider, I didn't know what to do, and so I followed Roger's advice.

"Just…go home Mark. I'll be back later." He hadn't.

I'm pathetic, I know, staring at the phone hoping someone will call, will stop me from what I'm about to do. Never in a million years did I think I'd do this. It'll break Roger's heart, if he even realizes I'm gone, but I have no more options. My affairs are in order, the loft goes to Roger.

I look up as the clock strikes midnight. Just as I thought; no cards, no calls, no visits. I'm one fucking floor above him and nothing. It's ironic, you know, doing this on my birthday. It's time.

And with a whispered apology and goodbye, I leave to catch my train. Bohemia is dead.

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A/N: Wow, that's depressing. I wrote this a month or so ago after I got a few Rent ideas in my head. I have a few plans to continue it, but only if I get some good feedback. Otherwise it may just stand alone. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think.

Toodles,

jessebelle


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